Pride...

Time to talk about Pride. It's at the top the "big seven", and it's rival is humility.

"Pride was the devil's great sin, as he wanted to be like God, and rebelled. There are 7 basic kinds of sin, that lead to all others, known as the Seven Deadly sins. It takes heroic virtue in most cases to overcome these." --- CatholicBible101.com

Pride is defined by the dictionary as "An excessively high opinion of oneself; conceit." --- thefreedictionary.com

In the Catholic bible, pride is one of the deadliest sins. One way of thinking of Pride is placing your own worth above others, even God.

Another definition of pride, from the same source, is "To indulge (oneself) in a feeling of pleasure or satisfaction". In fact, many people take sincere pleasure in being right, they take satisfaction from thinking they are better than others, or are smarter, or more athletic. Or in thinking that they know what's best.

I am a very prideful person in just about every definition of the word. I frequently feel the need to push until the other person (usually my husband) can see that I'm right, because it helps me to feel good about myself. I feel the need to reward myself for doing things that I feel are so terribly difficult that I should be commended for just thinking about doing them. Like dealing with my own children all day. Man...now I need a treat! Because I deserve it, right? Because my needs are so important that I deserve a treat for just doing the basic mothering duties that are required by law. Because my time is so valuable that any time someone asks me for something, I feel put out, and resentful that they should take any of my time. Can't they see I'm watching my favorite tv show? Can't they brush their own teeth for once?

I am also very prideful when it comes to things I feel like I know. Like scrapbooking and knitting and crocheting. I know how to do these things, so I should be able to wow others with my expertise, right? Like my faith. I'm catholic, I'm a convert, I go to mass every week, right? I know how to defend my faith and fight for my faith, right?

Today's homily at my church was about pride. Putting myself behind others. Trusting in god, and not only myself. Sitting at the low table so I may be exalted, rather than taking the high place only to be laid low.

And when it comes to apologetics? I try. I really do. but when will I realize that I don't know what I'm talking about, and quit putting my foot in my mouth? I don't know it all. But whenever I try to defend my beliefs or my faith in God before others, I forget. Whenever I go and try to explain myself, I end up embarrassing myself at my lack of eloquence. Then what happens? I get angry. I get angry and I end up just clamming up and backing away. Anger is yet another of those darn deadly sins. Not a very good Catholic example, is it?

I keep coming back to this, and I wish it would stick: My vocation as a Catholic is not as anapologist. It's not as an evangelist. I'm a housewife! I just can't seem to wrap my mind around that. It's my pride getting in the way. I can't stop thinking of myself as more, when I should be thinking of myself less.

A prayer to overcome pride:

O Jesus, Model of humility, divest me of all pride and arrogance. Let me acknowledge my weakness and sinfulness, so that I may bear mockery and contempt for Your sake and esteem myself as lowly in your sight. AMEN



Litany of Humility (to overcome pride, and for power in prayer)
O Jesus! Meek and humble of heart, hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed, R/deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved, R/
From the desire of being extolled, R/
From the desire of being honored, R/
From the desire of being praised, R/
From the desire of being preferred to others, R/
From the desire of being consulted, R/
From the desire of being approved, R/
From the fear of being humiliated, R/
From the fear of being despised, R/
From the fear of suffering rebukes, R/
From the fear of being calumniated, R/
From the fear of being forgotten, R/
From the fear of being wronged, R/
From the fear of being suspected, R/

That others may be loved more than I, R/Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I, R/
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease, R/
That others may be chosen and I set aside, R/
That others may be praised and I unnoticed, R/
That others may be preferred to me in everything, R/
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should, R/

AMEN

Back to School!

Ok, not for a week or so, but there is a lot of excitement around here.

My 12 year old has been asking about shopping for supplies for a good 2 weeks (even before vacation!) and we finally got them over the weekend. Three different stores and about 10 shopping bags later, and we still have to buy paper towels, bleach wipes and tissues. Yeesh!

We got the uniforms out of the way; with the oldest needing a whole new set, thankfully the others only needed a few items to fill out the stash. Now we have to stock up on socks and underwear. This is the one time of year when everyone gets a full new set of underwear and socks. Except mom and dad, of course. We need to stock up on navy kneehighs as well!

The other exciting thing about this year's back to school, is I may be starting back to work full time outside the home for the first time in over eight years, not counting my part time stint as a grocery store cashier. I'm both nervous and excited, and a little scared about this possibility, and I don't even really know if I want to pursue it, but it's there and my husband and family are excited, as well. It's as a preschool teacher, which would mean I would be able to be there with my children, and my son would get his pre-k schooling while I would be able to make a little extra cash. It would be a pay cut, but I would have my foot in the door, and next year, when my son is in all day kindergarten, I would be making more and already have my job search out of the way.

I've applied to a few places, but one Christian based center is really standing out to me. Anyone out there reading this, I would appreciate some prayers for discernment for me this week! If offered the job, it really depends on the pay if I accept or not. Eek! The suspense is almost too much!