Reconciliation, please...

It's been a awhile since I posted here. I confess I've been caught up with trying to build a small business, and it's taken a lot of my time, in addition to the regular day to day stuff.

But today as I was driving to school to drop off the kids, I realized that if I did nothing more in a day than to pray, read scripture and follow the teachings of my church, everything else would fall into place. Literally.

Instead of being crabby all the time trying to keep the house clean, I would be rejoicing that I have a roof over my head. Instead of grousing to my kids about how they are not responsible or how much extra work they cause, I would be setting an example by doing my own work joyfully and with a servant's heart. Instead of lazing around reading action books that help me to escape reality, I would be reading the greatest story ever told. Reading scripture and studying it has always strengthened my spirit and resolve.

So, I've made the decision to resurrect this blog (pun intended, ha!), and work on my spiritual life, and hopefully drag some other moms out there kicking and screaming along with me.

Starting off my new found resolve, I've decided to work on reconciliation.

This Monday is our parish pennance service. Our parish offers reconciliation several times a week, but I never have "time". One of my spiritual resolutions this Easter is to start going to reconciliation more often than once a year.

I plan to work in an Act of Contrition before bed, each night, and try to go to reconciliation each week. Many people don't realize that most priests will do a reconciliation appointment, so if you can't meet your parish's open times, make an appointment with your priest.

Act of Contrition

O my God,
I am heartily sorry for
having offended Thee,
and I detest all my sins,
because I dread the loss of heaven,
and the pains of hell;
but most of all because
they offend Thee, my God,
Who are all good and
deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve,
with the help of Thy grace,
to confess my sins,
to do penance,
and to amend my life.
Amen.




Read more: http://www.ewtn.com/devotionals/prayers/contrit.htm#ixzz1JPaMEKX2

It's Christmas Eve eve!

Well, the stockings are hung. They are filled with bits of construction paper glued together and colored by the kids for each other.

The tree is decorated, with the smooshy soft ornaments around the bottom and the breakables at the top. And the skirt is on upside down.

The cookies are made, but already half gone. We're going to have to make more for Santa!

We have the boxes still sitting in the dining room from putting the tree up, and they'll probably still be there in two weeks when we take the tree back down.

Christmas around here is crazy. My kids love to decorate, and bake and "help", and it's too much, sometimes! But I can't believe how much less stressful it is for our family than for a lot of others I've heard from.

We don't go to get pictures with Santa. With six children, there's no way we could get them all to look at the camera at once, anyway. We have an opportunity to go to one for free at our church, but we missed it this year due to basketball. No one even noticed. Woot!!

Santa only brings three gifts per child and they go under the tree on Christmas eve, so there's not as much wrapping, then peeking, unwrapping, re-taping, ripping, etc. The tree is bare underneath until Santa comes. The stockings are filled by Mom and Dad, and they know it, and those aren't filled until Christmas eve, either. So much easier!

We don't do a lot of baking. We make cookies for Santa, and a few extras just because, but I remember going to my Grandmother's every year for an entire day just to bake, and while it was fun, I can't imagine the time and expense of that now.

Don't get me wrong, we have our traditions, but they do not involve a lot of shopping and standing in line. We don't spend entire days baking. We watch the same movies every year, and we always go to Grandpa's house. And there is always a game of Hearts to be played.

Giving gifts is fun, as are all the baking and shopping and decorations, but to me, the best part of Christmas is family. Christmas to me is about being together. Remembering Jesus and His birth and the miracle of that. Remembering His poverty, and the gifts He both gave through His life and death, and received from the kings who recognized the true King of kings.

Merry CHRISTmas!

Pride...

Time to talk about Pride. It's at the top the "big seven", and it's rival is humility.

"Pride was the devil's great sin, as he wanted to be like God, and rebelled. There are 7 basic kinds of sin, that lead to all others, known as the Seven Deadly sins. It takes heroic virtue in most cases to overcome these." --- CatholicBible101.com

Pride is defined by the dictionary as "An excessively high opinion of oneself; conceit." --- thefreedictionary.com

In the Catholic bible, pride is one of the deadliest sins. One way of thinking of Pride is placing your own worth above others, even God.

Another definition of pride, from the same source, is "To indulge (oneself) in a feeling of pleasure or satisfaction". In fact, many people take sincere pleasure in being right, they take satisfaction from thinking they are better than others, or are smarter, or more athletic. Or in thinking that they know what's best.

I am a very prideful person in just about every definition of the word. I frequently feel the need to push until the other person (usually my husband) can see that I'm right, because it helps me to feel good about myself. I feel the need to reward myself for doing things that I feel are so terribly difficult that I should be commended for just thinking about doing them. Like dealing with my own children all day. Man...now I need a treat! Because I deserve it, right? Because my needs are so important that I deserve a treat for just doing the basic mothering duties that are required by law. Because my time is so valuable that any time someone asks me for something, I feel put out, and resentful that they should take any of my time. Can't they see I'm watching my favorite tv show? Can't they brush their own teeth for once?

I am also very prideful when it comes to things I feel like I know. Like scrapbooking and knitting and crocheting. I know how to do these things, so I should be able to wow others with my expertise, right? Like my faith. I'm catholic, I'm a convert, I go to mass every week, right? I know how to defend my faith and fight for my faith, right?

Today's homily at my church was about pride. Putting myself behind others. Trusting in god, and not only myself. Sitting at the low table so I may be exalted, rather than taking the high place only to be laid low.

And when it comes to apologetics? I try. I really do. but when will I realize that I don't know what I'm talking about, and quit putting my foot in my mouth? I don't know it all. But whenever I try to defend my beliefs or my faith in God before others, I forget. Whenever I go and try to explain myself, I end up embarrassing myself at my lack of eloquence. Then what happens? I get angry. I get angry and I end up just clamming up and backing away. Anger is yet another of those darn deadly sins. Not a very good Catholic example, is it?

I keep coming back to this, and I wish it would stick: My vocation as a Catholic is not as anapologist. It's not as an evangelist. I'm a housewife! I just can't seem to wrap my mind around that. It's my pride getting in the way. I can't stop thinking of myself as more, when I should be thinking of myself less.

A prayer to overcome pride:

O Jesus, Model of humility, divest me of all pride and arrogance. Let me acknowledge my weakness and sinfulness, so that I may bear mockery and contempt for Your sake and esteem myself as lowly in your sight. AMEN



Litany of Humility (to overcome pride, and for power in prayer)
O Jesus! Meek and humble of heart, hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed, R/deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved, R/
From the desire of being extolled, R/
From the desire of being honored, R/
From the desire of being praised, R/
From the desire of being preferred to others, R/
From the desire of being consulted, R/
From the desire of being approved, R/
From the fear of being humiliated, R/
From the fear of being despised, R/
From the fear of suffering rebukes, R/
From the fear of being calumniated, R/
From the fear of being forgotten, R/
From the fear of being wronged, R/
From the fear of being suspected, R/

That others may be loved more than I, R/Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I, R/
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease, R/
That others may be chosen and I set aside, R/
That others may be praised and I unnoticed, R/
That others may be preferred to me in everything, R/
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should, R/

AMEN

Is Divorce Contagious?

I'm a member of an online forum where the question of divorce came up recently.

Take this article that was raised as a debating topic on our forum:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/family/7871149/Divorce-is-contagious.html

This article states that divorce can become "contagious" among groups of couples:

"The researchers have called it “divorce clustering” and found that a split up between immediate friends increases a person’s own chances of of getting divorced by 75 per cent." This is because: "When a divorced person confided in someone married, the married person gained knowledge about the benefits and drawbacks of divorce. In the study it appeared most people saw the benefits in dovorce[sic]."

This sparked a big debate on our forum, which is comprised of mostly women and a few men from all walks of life, socio-economic statuses and all religions.

Some people felt that it was unfair to assume that if one couple divorced, it was more likely that they would get divorced by association. Still others were upset when some people proposed that marriage should be fought for, saying that they had seen marriages that were disasters and that divorce was the best thing to happen in those situations.

What does the Catholic church think? Basically, that marriage is sacred. A civil divorce is not the same as an annulment (which is the only way to dissolve a blessed Catholic marriage). Marriage is forever, and should not be entered into lightly.

My personal belief is that once your marriage has been blessed by the church, it's forever. It's not "forever until something better comes along". Marriage is hard. It's sometimes frustrating, messy, definitely challenging. But for the exception of serious mental, emotional or physical abuse, or infidelity, I have to say that marriage should be fought for.

If you are unsatisfied, speak up! This is a hard one for me. I'm working on it. If you are envious of other marriages (or divorces, for that matter), try to figure out what you are envious of...in my case, free time. I feel like I just never can get enough time for myself. I have several friends divorcing right now, and when I see them taking a day off or a weekend away, I feel envious. Not of their situation, but of their freedom. A hard-won and usually sometimes bittersweet freedom, however. I sometimes feel like I wish I could start all over, but I wouldn't have the husband I have now, I wouldn't have my wonderful children, I wouldn't be the same person I am today. We don't have a perfect marriage, but we are trying, and that means a lot.

Something to think about.

No planning = insanity for mom.

I love my children. Really.

But, when school is out for even a day, it's chaos.

My six year old son needs structure. He needs lots of attention. And when there are five other children vying for that attention, things can go downhill fast. Like when I woke up this morning, and came into the dining room, the first thing I saw was said six year old knee deep in paper scraps and staples. He was making a "turkey" for Thanksgiving. I was not a happy mom. And when I told him we needed to clean up before we could get anything else done (like go anywhere or even breath)he got mad and basically threw a big fit.

Just a side note: Don't ever pray for patience. God will willingly give you every chance He can to practice patience.

So, long story short, he spent several minutes of his first half hour out of bed back in his room in time out.

Not a great start to the day. Where am I going with this? Organization is the key to a happy mom. On those days when you know there is no school (or for homeschooling families on those days when you don't hold school), plan ahead!! What did I do the night before I knew there would be no school? I went to the scrap book store and worked on my scrapbooks. When I came home, did I clean up the kitchen and dining room so we would have a fresh start to the day? No, I dumped my stuff on the dining room table, and went to my room and watched tv. Sloth, anyone?

I am definitely paying for it today. We spent the first hours out of bed cleaning up. Now the house is clean, but I don't feel like doing anything but crawling back in bed! If I had cleaned as I went last night, this morning would have run so much more smoothly.

Important points to remember:
plan ahead!
clean as you go.
if you don't want anyone messing with your scrapbooking stuff, put it away.
don't pray for patience.

God Bless, and Happy Thanksgiving! I'm going to go plan my grocery shopping and cooking now.

Let's talk about sin, baby!

Ok, I have to say that I am a sinner. Duh, right?

Well, I have been thinking about this since it started getting colder that lent is coming (I know, I know, it's not even Advent yet, but still), and I am getting closer to that time when I try to give up something for God.

Which brings me to sin. I am a good person, but very sinful! My daughter learned an acronym to help her remember the 7 deadly sins at school.

EGGSLAP.

Envy
Greed
Gluttony
Sloth
Lust
Anger
Pride

As I think every night before I go to bed, and review my day, several of these seem to pop up over and over again.

Envy. Greed. Gluttony. Sloth. Anger.

I am envious of those that have more than me, or nicer houses than me or nicer clothes, or skinnier bodies.

I am greedy with my food, my money, my time.

I eat to excess much of the time.

I would much rather sit on the couch and watch tv or a movie, or work on my scrapbooks or knit and crochet than just about anything.

I always rise to anger before I think about the situation.

So I urge you to go over your EGGSLAP list every night. When you come across those sins that seem to repeat and repeat, pray about them. I find myself realizing that I can avoid those sins much easier if I'm aware of them.

Now, Lent. I plan on giving up soda, and fast food. I am recording this here, for posterity, because I know that if I have it written down, I am so much more likely to follow through. I hope that by giving up these two things, I will be able to start to get a handle on my gluttony and greed, at least.

Pray for me!

MOMS night out!

Last night we (my MOMS group) went to Village Inn for our first night out. We took an eight week class so to speak, and now we are venturing out on our own to form a network of support for ourselves both spiritually, and socially.

Plus it was free pie night!

Anyway, we really had a fun time getting to know each other better.

MOMS stands for Ministry Of Mothers Sharing. It's a program that allows you to form a support group of sorts for you and other moms to help you get through life's joys and disappointments. It is such a wonderful feeling to know that I'm not alone in my struggles.

As a catholic mom, it's easy to feel the guilt of my failures. I feel a strong need to lead my children into their faith and teach them by example. But when I feel like I'm on my own, it's much harder to hold myself to the standard I want to achieve. My husband is very much there, but he doesn't know what it's like to be a stay home parent. I'm very glad to have my catholic community (especially my MOMS) there to suppport me.

For that I am truly grateful.

Housework

Blech. Why must I sweep my floor ten billion times a day? Why is there always a stack of dirty dishrags on the back of my sink? Why is the pasta pot always dirty on the stove? Why is the bathroom rug always slightly damp?

Well, I have many children. It takes many meals to feed six children, and I feed them five times a day. I do a lot of dishes! We love noodles, and "bath day" is quite a romp around here. So, I deal with lots of dirty dishes, and lots of laundry.

I do on average, four loads of laundry a day.

I do a load and a half of dishes a day, plus pots.

I sweep the kitchen floor three times a day, at least.

And we are always out of towels.

Is that frustrating? Um...yeah. But it's what I do. As a layperson in the church, my calling is to live as a married woman. We feel that it's financially better and just better for my family to stay home. So I look after my family. I cook, clean, sew on buttons (when I remember) and try to keep on top of the laundry.

I just needed to remind myself why it's important to go sweep. Again. And fold the mountain of laundry on my couch. Again. And go load the dishwasher. Again.

Shopping

So I took my 4 year old and the baby to the mall today. We planned on just shopping around and playing in the play area for a bit then going home.

I am always just amazed at the sheer number of stores in the mall, let alone the millions of items for sale!

I'm a pretty simple person. I don't spend a ton of money on "stuff", unless it's for scrapbooking. Or yarn. Or sometimes books. But really. Does anyone need the same exact shoes offered in 15 different colors? Or "boots" that don't even cover your toes? Obviously, I was shopping for shoes. And the styles! Metallic, canvas, leather and plastic. And the ubiquitous "man-made materials", whatever those might entail. I just wanted black or brown leather loafer type shoes.

I spent a good half hour just trying to find plain black loafers that didn't have buckles, or tassels, or fringe (penny loafers, anyone?) or that were made of something thicker than the fabric of my shirt. And this after spending the last several weeks scouring the other "department" stores (by this I mean Walmart and Target, not Dillard's or Younkers!) and not finding my simple shoes.

I finally found some, at my shoe store of choice, Payless. Not leather, but not covered in spangles, either.

I miss simpler times where if you wanted to pick a color, it was basically white, black or brown. Maybe red for the flashy ones. I do like red, though. Zebra stripes? Not so much.

And shoe shopping with a four year old and a sleepy 14 month old was perilous. I half expected to come home to see little mister with two different shoes on, and neither of them ours. But I managed to buy two pairs of shoes for under $25 (love that BOGO sale!) and come home with all the correct pairs.

Now I get to go weed out the shoe rack.

Anyway, I got this in an email today, and it seems to fit in to my feelings about shopping these last few weeks before Christmas.

> Subject: Fw: Twas the month before Christmas
>
>
> Twas the month before Christmas,
> When all through our land,
> Not a Christian was praying
> Nor taking a stand.
>
> See the PC Police had taken away,
> The reason for Christmas, in a quiet, sly way.
> The children were told by their schools not to sing,
> About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.
>
> "It might hurt people's feelings," the teachers would say
> "December 25th is just a school 'Holiday'."
> Yet the shoppers were ready with checks, credit, cash,
> Ready to make their gift buying dash!
>
> CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, a Wii.
> Something was changing, what could it be?
> Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
> In hopes to sell books by Franken and Fonda..
>
> The Targets were hanging their trees upside down,
> At Lowe's the word Christmas - was nowhere to be found.*
> At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears,
> You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.*
> Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty,
> Are words that were used to intimidate me.
> Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf, Blitzen.
> On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!
>
> At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter,
> To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.
> And we spoke not a word as they removed our faith,
> Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace.
>
> The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded,
> The reason for the season, stopped before it started.
> So as you celebrate 'Winter Break' beside your 'Dream Tree',
> Think of times past and listen to me.
> Choose your words carefully,
> Choose what you say.
> Wish a MERRY CHRISTMAS to all,
> Not "Happy Holiday"!
> As Christians we must join together and say,
> Enough! Stop! Give us back our Holiday!!
> It's time that you stop and listen to reason,
> For Christ is the basis for the Christ-mas Season!

My inaugural post. Fun!

I decided to start this blog, because I just didn't feel like I had another place to get some of this stuff out. I love being Catholic, but I am somewhat of a minority among even my catholic friends in that I have a large family. Six children, ages 1 to 14. They are all very individual, yet very much the same. Their lives and mine as their catholic mom, take up most of my time. I am a wife, as well, but honestly, my husband is pretty undemanding, so most of this will probably be ramblings about my momness.

So far, I don't have any grand theme or scheme or whatever. I'll just pop in here every so often and spout some thoughts and move on.

I guess that's it for today! God bless.